Mom’s Story: Being Good Children

Here’s another from my mother, excerpted from an old letter that rambled on many things. I don’t remember if it was the same that covered “spankings,” but it could be. 

I have a vivid memory of being invited by a family to go out to dinner with them, something my parents NEVER did as they didn’t have the money to do it. Afterwards they wanted to take me to a movie but I refused because it was Sunday, so the hostess took me with her to visit her friend who was in the hospital. I can’t remember being taught that you shouldn’t go to a movie on Sunday but it just seemed right to believe that way.

Later on I found out that the woman told my mother about my refusal as she was impressed with my courage. I thought nothing of it . . .  just figured everyone felt that way.

But the knowledge that I was respected for my stand was a great encouragement for me as I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem.

I think in that generation children were not complimented much because it was thought they would become egotistical. We got plenty of blame for our mistakes but not much commendation for good things. After all, you were EXPECTED to be good.

I always WANTED to be good and your Dad says he grew up feeling the same way.

I can still remember the disappointment and shock I felt when I heard my very best friend say I JUST WANT TO SHOCK PEOPLE. After that I never felt so close to her and we drifted apart. Last time I saw her, which was several years ago on one of our cross country trips, we found her and her husband smoking heavily. The next I heard he had died of lung cancer because of it. Never heard more about her.

Both my brother Rolland and my nephew Sam died of lung cancer because of smoking since they were 18. So many people seem to think that will never really happen to them. I was with my brother when he died and I can tell you it is not a pretty death. As he sat in his recliner, the nasty tobacco juice from his lungs would run out of the corner of his mouth.

Shortly before he died I asked him what he would do differently if he could live his life over and he said I WOULD CHOOSE A DIFFERENT LIFE STYLE.

Haunting words.

_________

PS If you want further inspiration, check out daughter Allison’s very real perspective on life as husband Vernon’s coma continues. It’s here.