First one child came and I began to realize what love was about. It was one minute having no child and the next an utter sense of loss should she be taken away. That was 40 years ago.
A couple of years later another came, then another, and another. A dozen years after that we brought in another, this by adoption, her at age nine.
The five are now all married and with children of their own. Our grandchildren number 15, with another due this year. I call the number “abstract,” what with most of them scattered around the country. To ensure a regular connection, we hold family reunions.
In earlier years this was at Christmas. But these became too big, and a bit complicated with all the events that season already involves. So it was Anne’s brainchild to hold a family gathering at a different time of year and at different places. It would be every two years, the date set long in advance to work for everyone. The costs would be shared.
Right now we are in the throes of our second such reunion.
The last was in Tahoe, California; this time we’re in Dana Point, in spacious, multi-floored accommodations owned and operated by a friend. The meal preparation duties are pre-organized and carried out by assigned families. Activities for the children are loosely planned . . . though much of it for them is the glee of being together, “cousins” being a special relationship that should be allowed to just happen.
For the evening meal the children are fed first, then settled in another room in front of some appropriate video. With a bit of respite from all the frenetic fun, the adults sit down for the pleasure of dining together. It’s all a way to keep up friendships, which is not something to be taken for granted, even in family (or, as is often the case, especially in family).
There’s one more thing that we do to enhance the quality. After the evening meal, each couple is given time to update the rest of us. This year it’s on three topics:
What of significance has been happening in the last two years?
What is the best thing going on in your life right now?
Something special about your spouse.
It’s in response to this we learn meaningful things we’d not likely find out in any other way. Then, after each couple has shared, we provide a time for feedback, with plenty of admiration and affirmation. We’re each other’s fans.
It’s all about family. In many ways it’s only natural. It’s also purposeful. It wouldn’t happen without intention.
We’re all the richer for it.
Now, back to attending to it.
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
10:02 am
An example to us all. Thanks for posting this.
10:20 am
So rich Hyatt! Thank you.
10:45 am
I applaud you for this, Hyatt and Anne. Because our three adult kids and their spouses live locally with our six grandchildren ages four to sixteen we are able to gather weekly. We have had a family tradition that has followed us around the world where whoever is available comes over for pizza and just to hang out. No agenda except to be together. We started it when the children were living at home; later added spouses, and eventually grandchildren. We are blessed that they all still want to come after all these years.
10:59 am
As we vacation in Hawaii with our daughter and her three children, I truly value what you describe. Our son and his family have joined us here in the past and we enjoy the times we can all get together at home. Watching the five grandchildren play together and with us brings indescribable joy! We are off now as Matthew wants us to watch him take surf lesson!
Aloha & mahalo, Hyatt. Enjoy your time together!
3:53 pm
There is nothing like a family get together. However, with out family being so humongous, we had what is called a “cousin reunion” with it being held in various states from NM to AZ to CA. The problem is with old age and the grim reaper visiting, we are down to Christmas cards, emails and phone calls and hoping for one last one for the elders in Texas where he clan began.
You are fortunate yours are a younger generation and you can get together withing a reasonable time frame. Keep up the good gatherings.
4:05 pm
I loved this. You always inspire. Thank you!
5:58 pm
As I am the instigator and planner for an extended Lloyd Family Reunion in Texas this fall, I love your intentionality and will be incorporating your questions! Enjoy your time together. I’m sure there will be much laughter!
11:38 am
LOVED hearing about this family reunion and how you worked it all out over the years and as the family grew! Ours is still young and no grandchildren yet, so this is so helpful to get this idea!! I do think it is so important to have these wonderful reunions! We, as the family, are such a great support and base for adults as well as for the grandchildren. If you have this, you are truly blessed! We have been doing this for years with our children “pre-grandchildren”because we have a timeshare in Hawaii and they love it there. They come because they love everything about this trip. This was smart on my husband’s part. Thanks again Hyatt for sharing! Lisa
4:10 pm
I’m going to print and save this “Family Reunion” example to share with my family…like it very much! Thanks for sharing!
1:43 pm
This was a nice reminder of the importance of tradition and intention in helping a family stay connected. Many levels of richness in what you do but I especially appreciate the questions you all ask and answer as I’m sure that everyone looks forward to reflecting and sharing about their lives in a way that they do not often get to. Thank you for sharing and by doing so encouraging quality in family life!
3:25 pm
A beautiful reminder of the best of many blessings in my life, family. Thanks Hyatt
1:10 pm
Investing in family is so enriching and pays great dividends. It is an anchor. Thank you for sharing the warmth of your family. :)