There’s a term I picked up somewhere in grade school that, having never heard since, wondered if I had made it up. In the meantime I’ve not shied from using it to describe myself. I am an ambirvert.
Ha! As I type this, even my spell checker doesn’t recognize the word.
But I look further and do find a definition: “A personality trait including the qualities of both introversion and extroversion.”
It continues: “Extraversion and introversion are typically understood as a single continuum. Thus, to be high on one is necessarily to be low on the other. That said, people fluctuate in their behavior all the time, and even extreme introverts and extraverts do not always act consistently.”
More people I’ve talked with lately have described the same about themselves. We may be either extravert or introvert, but at times operate in the other mode. What it doesn’t mean is, “always in the middle.”
I know this about myself: When I’ve had about all I can handle of people I do whatever I can to get away. But I can also be alone too long and after awhile, come out of my cave and go looking for somebody to talk to.
As I understand it, the difference between extraversion and introversion is what supplies our energy, and what drains it. If you’re generally energized by being around people you’re an extravert; if you rather prefer your own company, then you’re in the Introvert’s Club.
(They rarely meet.)
My sister who is a glorious extravert, once in an assembly of assorted types blurted out, “If we don’t talk, how will you know what we’re thinking?” to which a classic introvert answered, “What makes you think we care?”
Everybody laughed, which is another point: Don’t take yourself too seriously.
But even talkative and expressive Sue has her introverted side. Being a writer and speaker, she needs her solitary time, at least to prepare.
And so it is with her brother, the one now writing to you. My continuum is very wide. There are times when I need absolute aloneness and other times when I’m the life of the party. The interesting thing is, those at the party know little about the other side, since they’re not there.
If you recognize these traits in yourself, opposite preferences operating at different times, then you, like me, qualify for the Amberverts Club.
We meet occasionally.
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
9:06 am
WOW!! Learned something about myself again, thanks to you Hyatt!! I guess I am an absolute “ambervert”!!! I absolutely go from being an extrovert to an introvert much of the time. I think I am half and half as opposed to being 3/4ths extrovert and 1/4th introvert because I really fluctuate! When in a group and talking to people at the beginning I think, oh, this is the answer—this is so what I need to do more of! but after so long, (and I will not share how long exactly! hahahaha!)——- I will just want to get away, fast! I think—— I cannot get alone, fast enough! So, now I know it is okay. Putting a name or word to this mental state, helps me not think I am sort of on the crazy side! hahahah! So, thank you again, Hyatt! I seem to find out more about the person of me, through the person of you sharing about you! I love this! Thanks! Lisa
9:24 am
Good description, Hyatt, and a good analysis too. I tend more towards being an introvert, but my communications skills drive me to speak in public. After hearing me speak/perform people sometimes call me an extrovert, but I’m not. When on a speaking tour, I may be tired at 6pm when the audience begins to gather, but at 9pm, when I finish my speech, I feel energized from the “speaker high.” But in parties I’m quite content to have a nice talk with just one person.
9:24 am
The term comes from Dr Eysenck, psychologist, England, about 1960 . It was his theory of personality. Still holds water today as a theory. Allan G. Hedberg
10:17 am
Thanks, Dr. Hedberg, but how did I learn the term in grade school, long before 1960? Or is it a memory mix up? (Wonder what Dr. Eysenck would say about that . . . )
9:57 am
I enjoy all your blogs even though I rarely respond. But I couldn’t resist pointing out that even though your spell check couldn’t handle ambivert, shouldn’t it have corrected your extravert to extrovert?
It’s comforting, after all these years to know you that maybe you aren’t perfect!!!
10:15 am
Hey M, How right you are (on the latter point). My spell check apparently didn’t catch the word because one is a variation of the other. At least I consistentized it (new word); for awhile I was using both.
11:31 am
I am confused with the spelling. Under the picture spelled, “ambivert.” In the text, spelled “ambervert” and “ambirvert.”
“Ambivert” would seem to be the likely choice.
However, that was not my primary purpose in responding.
Last week, while painting with Hyatt, I told him that I loved not only the message of his writing, but his composition style.
All week I tried to coin the word to describe his style. I think I have it… “vintage”. Not to infer, “antiquated” in any way. Vintage is refined and sweeten with age.
Consider the construction of particular turns of phrase:”And so it is with her brother, the one now writing to you.” Simple, elegant and sweet to the ear.
So, Hyatt, we thank you not only for sharing profound truths, but doing so with a vintage style.
I too am a pronounced antivert. Seems birds of a feather flock together.
11:33 am
The spelling challenge continues. Maybe it was Freudean, but in my next to last sentence, I wrote “antivert.” Hyatt you know me well, does the “anti” fit?
12:54 pm
Fun Hyatt. I could tell you all about me, but I won’t bore you. Only to say that I feel like an introvert but can’t be without people for more than about 30 minutes…unless I have concrete plans to look forward to. :-)
3:59 pm
That’s a fun read, Hyatt. I’m almost a duplicate of Jack, above. I love my times of solitude, don’t get excited about parties, and would rather read the book than see the movie (but I do love film, just not at the theater). Funny, though, how God seems to know precisely what our “bents” need to be complete. I found myself into elementary classroom teaching at age 22, and loved three decades of such. Folks thought of me as outgoing, quirky (got that right), and full of energy at school. And, even now, though retired, I enjoy all of my piano students here at my house. Yet, I know myself, and I’m, by nature, an introvert to the fullest extent. Go figure!
5:46 pm
Hyatt, I’m so happy to have a name for my personality which I have always considered quirky! I managed to break my arm while on that trip to Belize and I must admit I have enjoyed the excuse to be an introvert to my heart’s content. Now I have a lofty term to describe my need for time alone to think deep thoughts. Not a day goes by that we don’t think of you and lovely Anne. Hope your summer is blessed. Sandra
7:38 pm
Thanks, Hyatt! I think I belong to the Ambivert Club!
10:06 am
Oh my goodness Hyatt………….I so enjoy you. My home is filled (well not quite) with your awesome art work and your blogs just fascinate me. Always so interesting and unusual.
You are the man!!!!!
Just moved, I will be in touch.
1:19 pm
It is really nice the way that you so often refer to your sister. It seems as though you admire her gifts and talents and even like her too. Bravo, the older we get, the more we should value our siblings as we will have more history with them than anybody else on the planet. Btw, I identified with your article, as I think we all did. I tend to be mostly extrovert–obviously, and am majorly energized by being around people who mostly give lots of positive affirmation. However, I too need down time. Having grown up in a large family and then had a large family of my own it’s just comfortable and what I know to be around lots of people. It is being alone that gets a little unnerving as there is no feedback from others, at the same time it does seem like quite an indulgence, one that I’ve not had much acquaintance with in life. Another interesting topic that makes us all think. Some of us with more voices in the background than others. Thank you.
8:42 pm
love it, Hyatt & remembering the picnic where our little circle talked about this with much enthusiasm and laughter!!!! I’ve always said I was an introverted extrovert!!!! But I do see I am mostly an extrovert, and yet have those times when my introvert comes out & then I retreat……..like going in the cave as you say
….Ahhhh to be happy with myself alone, but then to be with others sharing life……trials, growth, sorrows, joys, etc. like I was these past 3 days in Paso Robles adds such richness to my life!!!! ……..that is almost undescribable.
So I am in the ambevert club….:-) Not sure I’ll remember how to say that & may slip back to being an introverted extravert! Blessings.
8:32 pm
You know deep inside you DO care about everything I’m thinking, Hyatt…
5:08 pm
The grown up version of “me” definitely fits amibirvert’s definition, but the younger version of me was all introvert….interesting and fun factoid to learn. Thanks Hyatt!