Dave Williams, aka Son of Adam. Click for larger view.
Dave Williams, aka Son of Adam. Click for larger view.The day of one’s death is better than the day of birth.
It’s a jaring sentence that flies in the face of everything we normally think. The surrounding context elaborates: A good name is better than fine perfume . . . It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a day of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.*
Consider it: On the the day of our birth we’re nothing but a ball of potential. Helpless, crying, wetting and worse. We’re a miracle to be sure, but only a bud of the flower. It’s the years to come that will build something unique, a story worth the telling. And we tell it at funerals.
I saw this again this weekend as I attended the memorial of a friend. Dave Williams worked with plants and soil and concrete and stone. He helped me with many a landscaping and hardscaping project . . . often on weekends or at the end of the day after other jobs. Quitting time was not a concept with him. His hands were gnarly, his back strong, and his shirt grimy. As often as not he’d work for free, just helping me out.
In appreciation some years ago I made a painting of him. I called it “Son of Adam,” after our first relative, also a landscaper. In the painting Dave stands in unassuming dignity, holding the basic tool of his trade, a shovel (more than Adam had).
Dave was a basic man. But, as with anybody, there’s always more to know.
We learned more at the memorial service where friends and family related aspects of the fuller story—of his early life, his military service, his college education, his prowess as a wrestler, his black belt in judo earned in Japan, his interest in sports (and names of all current players), his love of history, his ever building vocabulary and his family championing in the game show, Jeopardy.
A son of Adam indeed: strong of body, of good mind, unafraid of work, generous in spirit, and walking humbly before God.
It’s ironic, but we learned all this more fully because he died.
None of it existed on the day of his birth.
Moreover, all of us were the better ourselves for hearing it.
By odd coincidence, the memorial happened on my birthday. People who knew wished me a happy day. But the real meaning of the day, that which did me the most good, was the celebration of another life . . . the picture of its breadth and depth, aspects of which were acted out in many little circles, each unbeknownst to the other. But all known to God.
A birth is only a life begun. The true graduation is yet to come. When it does, we can hope it helps others, as this son of Adam just did for us.
______________________
*Ecclesiastes 7:1-2
Because you’ll wonder, Dave died on the job, in a moment, caused by an unforgiving encounter with an electrical box.
Next: Symbolic Speech for an Ultimate Matter. Coming Thursday.
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
8:13 am
Thanks Hyatt…
For some reason I found myself at Lowe’s garden department an hour or two after Dave’s memorial… I felt the need to buy some impatiens (someone at the memorial referred to impatiens as 1 of Dave’s favorite flowers). Dave made a daily practice of getting his hands dirty…in a beautiful way…the same way Jesus did. I’ll never look at a shovel the same way again.
Scott
8:46 am
Thanks, Hyatt, for sharing your thoughts about Dave. I didn’t know him, I just saw him from time to time at church. You gave me a cherished moment with Dave that I never would have had.
There are so many wonderful people that enrich our lives without our realizing it. Dave’s friendship empacted you and so many others, and your words have empacted and comforted those he loved and me, almost a stranger. The great thing, is that I get to meet him in heaven; I’ll be able to know him like I never could have on earth.
Thanks, Hyatt.
9:43 am
Appreciate the thoughts, Hyatt. The aftermath of a service like Dave’s often has its lingering ways, as it did for Scott. I walked around the perimeter of my house noticing how, in this warm spell we’re having, all of my plants are good and watered. This was all due to Dave’s watchful eye on my irrigation through the years. This reminded me of how attentive God is to our thirsts. The giving of sincere attention was one of Dave’s qualities. Little did he know … and perhaps why so affective.
9:58 am
Lovely commemoration of a man worth knowing! Thank you for sharing him with those of us who did not know him in the living person! A man worth taking notes on his life! A life well lived! That is all one can ask for, in my view! Striving with God’s great help, I and others can get there too! Thank you, Hyatt! Best Lisa
2:22 pm
Beautiful words, Hyatt- lovely, touching tribute to your friend- he seems like someone we all would love to know.
3:13 pm
Thanks for the thoughts, Hyatt.
4:29 pm
Thanks you , Hyatt. A special tribute to a friend. As I have attended Memorial Services for friends I have thought some of the same thoughts you expressed but have not been able to articulate them as you have. Keep writing!
8:08 pm
Thank you for the insightful thoughts.. Shortly after reading this, I came across this quote from “The Rubaiyat of Omar Khaydm”‘ a translation by Edward Fitzgerald in 1859.
The Moving Finger writes; and having writ,
moves on: Nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.
Thanks be to God we have our Lord to wipe put all of our sins and thanks to good friends who remember all the wonderful parts of our lives.
6:32 am
Nice painting. Great story. Thank you for the thoughts and doing that for your friend. Your statement about death is true…now I just need to believe it more.
Pastor Adam Barton
Akron, Ohio
12:31 pm
It sounds kind of weird, but I really like attending funerals or memorials as we get to hear the stories, many of which we’ve never heard about those we know. They just seem to be so meaningful and it seems like everybody deserves for their lives to be memorialized.
6:08 pm
Thanks, Hyatt. I love the picture. Happy Belated Birthday! Dave Williams reminds me of my brother Jeff, who I will appreciate even more today after reading this.
7:20 pm
A beautiful tribute. Hyatt. Like white light split by the angles of a prism, we, each of us, a tiny fragment of God’s light bestow and reflect His grace, character, and love. Each life matters.