I’ve been grazing on wisdom again in the mornings. It’s easy to do, just open to the book of Proverbs and there it is, laying on the surface. And there’s more to be found for the digging. Then the reward is so inclusive it’s amazing that it’s all free, and the source so reliable.
In the midst of this I got a letter in the mail offering promises beyond belief if I just sign up for their free offer. Actually it was addressed to my father, but as he is now gone, we’re receiving his mail. As we share the same name, his mail can at first appear to be mine. Moreover, his (my) personal name was sprinkled liberally throughout the ten pages of lavish promises and claims.
I know the anonymous senders meant it for Dad, not me, as their particular audience would be for those nearing, or well into, dementia.
But I may still qualify.
The contents were “For you only, Hyatt Moore.” The writer couldn’t reveal his name because of vows but assured me I hear his name regularly in the news and popular culture. In fact, I’d be surprised to learn who the fellow members of The League are and how they achieved their wealth and notoriety by knowing The Secrets.
The Secrets, in fact, is what I would receive, condensed to 55 pages, for just checking the box and responding.
I must say I was so incredulized that last night I read the entire ten pages. It was so repetitively glorious that I couldn’t help reading aloud to Anne (until she fell asleep). I was complimented that they chose me, of all people, but they say they’d been watching me and knew of my particular gullibility credibility and integrity. They were looking for people with high regard for honesty like themselves.
The Secrets, they avowed, would open up every avenue that I’d want, that I lacked, and that everyone would give everything to have. They promised I’d be among the “creme de la creme of society, famous sports and movie stars, musicians, billionaires, businessmen, intellectuals, and scientists.” Like all of them when they received this same offer, this was the luckiest day of my life.
Just in case the ten pages of this wasn’t convincing enough, toward the end it got more specific to:
— Discover the ONE simple method to transform all money and power from the uninformed to me, instantly
— Get the lover of my dreams, regardless of his or her situation
— Learn how to seduce anyone in any situation
— Control anyone, anytime, anywhere
— Lose all the weight I want, eliminate any addiction
— Heighten my powers and render all others completely helpless
— Beat the odds time and again in casino games like poker
— Boost my intelligence and attract people like a magnet to do my bidding
There were more, but this gives the idea.
Imagine my devastation when I got to the end, all ready to sign up and just hope against hope that they wouldn’t realize I was the wrong Hyatt Moore, that I found I’d missed the expiration date: September 5, 2014.
Drat, drat, and double drat ! ! !
What I could have done with The Secrets.
As it was, all I could do was go back to Proverbs.
Fair enough, they contain great promises, but not just to me. It talks about secrets . . . but everybody can know them. And the rewards are admittedly glorious, but lack the deliciously nefarious as those of The League.
In fact, Proverbs dampens things with warning of the seducer, the lying tongue, the divisor of schemes. Certainly The League would agree with these things if they’d thought of them, but just didn’t want to be negative.
But, as I said, I missed it.
Meantime, I’ve got Proverbs’ free offer. Nothing to send in. No expiration date. Fewer than 55 pages. And all the secrets are right there. Just have to dig a little.
I can dig it. Can you?
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
12:01 pm
Hi!
Anything that is secret is a RED FLAG to me.
As the Masons, secret brotherhood.
Barbara
12:56 pm
Good post with good humor. Thank God his “secrets” in Proverbs are free for the taking, and He prompts us to do some diligent searching so we can really learn them and value them. I actually googled “The League Membership” and as suspected, the web is full of info regarding these guys.
http://articles.latimes.com/2013/nov/18/business/la-fi-lazarus-20131119
P.S. It is too bad you missed their deadline. Oh well, when it comes to getting taken to the cleaners, “There’s always another bus.” Better luck next time.
1:04 pm
Thanks, Mike. I’ll watch for that next bus.
3:21 pm
Psalm 25:14 :-)
4:11 pm
“A day late a dollar short.” Another magnificent opportunity missed! Har Har.
4:41 pm
Thanks Hyatt, that was a good one…Sadly, you have to wonder how many people really get sucked into these scams….Yes, I will take God’s word and leave the worldly promises behind….Blessings, Candy
4:59 pm
I love the “I can dig it.” I was thinking this a.m. about some of the differences between wisdom and knowledge. Wisdom is a gift from the Lord, all we need to do is ask him for it, while knowledge is something we need to work for.
5:53 pm
Interesting about the “secrets.” So like the Deceiver with Jesus in the wilderness. Any one or more of those wishes fulfilled would clearly lessen one’s dependence on God. It’s like Screwtape!
8:35 pm
Hyatt – well put. Thanks for your note this evening and for sending me in the direction of your blog.
Best, Andy
10:30 pm
Its not just the Nigerian Royalty sending out letters, I see…
6:02 am
Wow… What an organization. I too would choose The Lord, all the wonderful promises in the bible any day… Love to all.. Lisa
7:39 pm
Hyatt,
I would chose Jesus as well. His word has enough for all times.
Becky