Okay, this was some years ago, when our hair was dark and the tie was daily. Times have changed, but not the spirits.
I hope you enjoyed that last post, the one about fatherhood. I was glad, as always, for the comments. Shows I have some readers. As I thought about it, there’s one more entry I could add to the list: Stay married.
Or, better, stay happily married.
It’s something worth working on.
Not long ago Anne and I came across a useful tool, a marriage growth plan. Among other things, it involved a simple exercise of each of us making a list of (1) three things I want for myself, (2) three things I want for my mate, and (3) three things we want for us combined. All these were in the context of the marriage.
It’s pretty easy, if you don’t overthink it. Writing the first thing that comes to mind brings out the best honesty. Communicating it might take a little more finesse. Sharing it with each other is part of it.
I’ll not reveal everything we came up with here . . . that’s for us. Besides, you should have your own list.
But I will share two statements that one or the other of us came up with and that we agreed on.
The first: Our marriage should be typified by happiness and fun.
At first blush that seemed a little superficial. Isn’t life serious business? It is, and it isn’t all fun. But when there’s fun in it, it’s probably a healthy marriage.
So work at that. (Or is that a contradiction in terms?)
The other: Each person is an expressive fan of the other.
Why not? Everybody needs a fan, and it’s so much easier if you don’t have to look far to find one. All it takes to be a fan is a little noticing, and a little vocal appreciation. We’re already good at fine-tuning the other. Don’t just lend a hand, lend two . . . for a full-on applause.
And that’s fun, too.
So there you go. Marriage is long. Or should be. Might as well make it fun. Might as well be a fan.
And that’s the first thing to having one.
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
10:25 pm
Yea for fun! I felt a little guilty in February when I joined the travel club to invest in our marriage–we both love travel– and to invest in fun! Booked a trip to Greece yesterday. Fun!!! Love you both and your marriage.
7:16 am
Great article Hyatt, As you might remember I am divorced, I learned a great deal
during my marriage. One Very important item is that work should not consume
all of your time.
don
8:01 am
I’m always for fun! We try so hard to be perfect, whether in our Christian walk, our parenting, or our marriages. Accepting our imperfections makes for a safe enough environment to truly have fun! It’s like moving the rigid fence away from a beautiful plant; let it grow profusely! Let it breathe, let it be the breathtaking beauty it was meant to be! Now that is FUN!
12:15 pm
Well, Guess we need to work on the Fun and Fan parts….After 60 years life can get a little dull….and maybe being a fan gets a little bit tired….Anyway, we are still working on it! So glad we are still friends.
10:06 am
Hyatt this is an encouragement to be mindful of fun. Something Brett and I have been doing well these past few years. Wether its riding bikes through town to get lunch or hiking up a mountain. I always look up and thank God knowing this act of playfulness is a blessing from Him. These have been times I treasure. I think I might suggest your marriage exercise too for us. Hmmmm not sure how it will go over…..I’ll let you know.