Recently a friend came over to talk. She had a big engagement coming up where she’d agreed to paint in front of an audience while a speaker would lecture on the importance of creativity. Knowing I’ve had experience with such, she thought I’d have some input.
The truth is, the whole idea was beginning to weigh on her like cement at the ankles. She dreaded the day when she would be pushed out of the boat.
Though a fine painter, all her self-confidence was oozing out of her and she was desperate for ways to become “really good” in a very short time. But, of course, it doesn’t work that way.
The speaker who’d invited her knew she was just right for the task; I reminded her of that. The bigger issue was mental.
Since she asked, I offered my mind on the subject. First, she didn’t have to pull off a perfect piece of art. In the limited time, who would expect it? So forget that part. Besides, the topic was about stepping out and trying new things. If she were to pull off a perfect painting in 40 minutes, the audience might be impressed, but completely intimated to try anything themselves. Actually, an unfinished and imperfect painting would make the point better.
So, get off of “perfection.”
But another point that resonated even more deeply is the solid, though little-known, notion that perfect love casts out fear. I told her I get that straight from the Bible, but when applied, it makes all the difference.
Whether speaking or painting or anything else in public, if we’re preoccupied with how we’ll be judged, all our thoughts are about ourselves. They’re inward oriented, i.e. “fear!” Love, on the other hand, is just the opposite: It’s oriented outward.
And you can’t think about them both at the same time.
So, if we look at a situation like hers and consider that, in fact, we do have something to give, something useful which will help others, or at least entertain them and make them happy, our thoughts are outward, not inward. We’re no longer thinking about ourselves but them. Fear flies away!
These two thoughts, that perfection is not expected or even welcomed, and that love conquers fear, instilled my friend with a new peace of mind and readiness to face the challenge.
Since then, the engagement has come and gone. She succeeded, of course, and now laughs about it.
But the new thoughts made all the difference.
It’s so for all of us.
_____
PS Speaking of imperfection and freedom, you’ll enjoy my new book, Sketches of France (and all the rest) available on my website, here.
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
12:30 pm
Thanks for this, Hyatt – speaking a lot in October. Always face the self-doubts, etc. God always comes through. I have something to give that He put in me. So love it will be!
12:43 pm
Love it Hyatt! I was in my mid40s before I began to learn this lesson… about whether to be controlled by love or fear. I realized that my fears (about trying to attain perfection, not making mistakes, being judged, looking foolish) were preventing me from doing what I loved– making music, being creative, taking risks. It’s as if literal chains fell off of me. This is such a great message to share with others– so thank you!
2:41 pm
Right on, Hyatt. Pretty much what I like to instill into my piano students when it comes to “going public.” When once one knows he/she has something to offer, it’s like the direction of thought reverses. I’ll pass this on to my music community so they’ll know it isn’t just a Mr. Huie thing!
2:42 pm
Reminds me when I was a teen and was asked to do a chalk drawing during the Easter Season for church with the path leading to the cross. It seemed to go well, but when I sat down, I realized I had extended the path above the hill so the cross was standing tall on a road that ended above the hill. No one laughed at me and looking back on it, I think there was a double meaning to having the cross higher than it would be if it was where man had placed it.
8:20 am
Good advice, Hyatt. I also over came much fear by preparation. You remember Toast Masters? We prepare but at the same time trust Him to do a good job. I must confess much of the time I performed in the flesh in my public speaking… now I am learning to trust Him more…Thank you for sharing.
12:17 pm
Really liked this!! Especially since I know that very special artist. Yes, it applied to many areas and I really appreciated the reminders. Thanks Hyatt.
12:29 pm
Great insight, great reminder. I need both on a daily basis. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom (and thinking about us instead of you.)