The “Whys” Unknown . . . Moving On

Not Vernon’s Vespa (which we never saw again), but this gives the idea.

As I’ve written, son-in-law Vernon passed. Now so have the memorial services—which were great, by the way, and just the kind I’d like when my time comes. (Maybe daughter Allison will plan that one, too.) But there were a few things thought and not said, or not said quite enough for such a major moment of closure. Here’s a list, with just a sentence or so of commentary by me.

Why was Vernon (or any person) cut off early?

Judgment? It comes to mind, but it doesn’t make any sense . . . certainly not in Vernon’s case. Many people in obvious need of judgment live on and on when often the good die young. So we can’t go there.

Was it chance? Maybe. Accidents happen. By coincidence, I happened on a YouTube video of motorcycle accidents. Every one of them was tragic and hard to watch, but somehow fascinating, especially as I was able to go back and run them frame by frame. In every case I was able to see where the error was made and who made it. The irony, of course, is that often the person causing it is the one unhurt, or unkilled. So it was in this case.

Is it because the person’s work is finished? History is full of people of genius cut off way before it should have happened. Vincent Van Gogh was just getting going; so was Raphael (both died at 37). How about Abraham Lincoln? As it happened, Vernon left a lot more, occupationally-speaking, than any of us knew at the time. (For more see my blog on that.)

Was it for the sake of others? It’s through hardships we grow. Many of us have watched (and read) how Allison bravely and creatively stepped up to the love-vow: “In sickness and health . . . till death do us part.” These are things none of us would wish for, but when they come, so can a whole new strength we never knew.

These are mysteries. Making demands to know why only steals our peace . . . and suggests that we’re in charge. But, in fact, we’re apparently in charge of very little.

Best to make our peace with the one who is, accept things we can’t change, step up to the challenge before us, and move on.

That’s what we’re doing.

You too.

___

PS There will be bills piling in for a long time. The insurance was next to nothing. If you’d like to help there’s a place to do so (and an informative video) here.