In “level state” in Mexico, this year
I’ve been realizing for some time that I’m in what I’m can only describe as a level state of contentment and happiness.
In many ways it’s been so all along; I’ve been happy mostly, and content.
Once, some years back, I told a friend, “I have everything I want, except the fulfillment of my goals.”
That seemed to be about as good as it gets, since a person needs to have goals, and a goal isn’t a goal if it’s already been met.
What I’m beginning to realize now, however, is the “level state,” a relaxation on even the goals.
Is this natural? Is it something that comes from being 69 years old . . . which seems like a very high number when inside I feel no different than when I was 39?
A 1-Day Mid-Life Crisis
But there is a difference, and that’s what I’m describing. I remember that year in particular, or rather one day of that year. That’s when I looked at my life and experienced a mid-life crisis that lasted one day.
Actually it was the day before I would turn 39 that it happened. I suddenly saw my 39th birthday approaching which meant it was only a year until I would turn 40. Forty seemed like the classic age by which something major should be accomplished, and I knew that one year would not be long enough to accomplish anything significant. I sensed panic, and despair. I experienced intensely what I’d heard and read others around this age experience, sometimes for a very long period, and sometimes manifesting in some very erratic actions. I suddenly understood it, and sympathized. It was no laughing matter.
By the end of the day, however, I began to regain equilibrium. I reminded myself that in fact I had done a few things, things big enough to have satisfied at least mid-level goals, and that time was not “up;” there would be years enough to get a few more things in. With that, I relaxed. My mid-life crisis, intense as it was, had lasted just one day.
That was 30 years ago. I suppose I could recount what I’ve been able to experience since then which I or somebody might call “significant.” But in fact that exercise doesn’t interest me much. We live in the present.
We live in the present
The difference between then and now, as I started out to say, is that now I’m not sensing any particular unmet goals. And I’m satisfied with that.
We have plans, to be sure, but generally not more than a few months out, or weeks. Every day I wake with a sense of focus for that day. There’s rarely—actually never—any down time. The hours are all full, and pretty much with what I want to do. We’re busy. And happy to be. It’s a gift of God.
Is this maturing of life beyond goals also a gift of God?
Don’t misinterpret; I know there are areas of my life that could go a lot farther. Areas of generativity, of perspective, of patience, and all the spiritual areas. And I’m interested in their pursuit. But these are not goals, per se, as they will never be met.
Why we work
Today I flipped open to a page of a book I’ve only flipped through before. On the cover is a label describing it as “The Number One Business Book of the Year!” The page I came to was about “the purpose of a business,” where the author says the purpose of owning a business is quite different from the purpose of the business itself. The purpose of a business is basically to acquire customers, to retain customers, and make a profit. But the reason for wanting to own a business, he says, is to create a lifestyle for oneself.*
And that’s when I saw clearly that the lifestyle I would create for myself is the one I’m living now. That is, the list of things that I want and the list of things I have are the same list.
This didn’t start out to be a meditation Ecclesiastes 11:8, but it fits:
However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all.
Tomorrow I’ll share my list.
Feel free to comment.
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*Making Money is Killing Your Business, by Chuck Blakeman
Our Lives Together
Its About Life
6:54 am
Thanks Hyatt. I can’t wait to hear more. It strikes a chord here.
7:03 am
.As time goes flying by I tend to wonder if I’ve done all that I should or want or need to accomplish. Happy Birthday! Thanks for the insight!
8:39 am
Thanks. Actually my b-day was some months back. But I’ll take the wish just the same.
7:38 am
Thank you for the reminder that it’s not always advisable to chase the significant. Most of the time the important stuff is happening below the surface anyway.
8:01 am
Thanks for sharing. Stay cool for the next thirty!
8:52 am
Loved your thoughts on age and contentment. You are blessed to be able to pursue what you love. As I have moved to a new stage of life I realize many of my earlier, unmet goals are no longer on the list. Less time created a more stream-lined list.
9:15 am
I so agree with your quote below! I am a very blessed and happy man to have had my own business for 35 years.
Thanks again for putting it down in words.
“But the reason for wanting to own a business, he says, is to create a lifestyle for oneself. And that’s when I saw clearly that the lifestyle I would create for myself is the one I’m living now. That is, the list of things that I want and the list of things I have are the same list.”
9:43 am
As the Scripture says, to some effect, “Godliness with contentment is great gain.” In March of 2000, I thought it tragic that my 27 year career as a schoolteacher suddenly ended, due to Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder. However … throughout those wonderful years, folks would at times ask, “If not for the classroom, what would you love doing?” It would always be restoring cars and teaching piano lessons. It’s ironic that those very things are now my livlihood, and I can’t imagine doing anything else. The desires of my heart (all along?) are now my life. Your “leveling” idea fits, Hyatt. I think there’s a foretaste of heaven in contentment i.e. having everything I need for my present happiness.
10:15 am
I think the ideal life is to keep an on-going list of exciting things to explore, learn or accomplish. And that the end of life would be to have too many goals left to accomplish and some frustration attached to that. Some adventures are just a thought away. Three years ago, having you as my painting coach was just a thought and now, I know I’ll always want to be doing another painting- hopefully with your guidance!
11:22 am
Thanks for continuing to share learnings from your journey. At the ripe old age of 59, I already share some sense of “life time contentment.”
May we all have the vibrant mind that you possess at the age of 69.
11:31 am
Thanks for those thoughts, Hyatt. Bev and I are well despite more oft-repeated medical fine-tuning! Be sure to look us up next time you and Anne head to Australia.
12:40 pm
Thanks Steve, and for the invite. Have been to Australia a couple of times, but not yet to Alice Springs!
2:15 pm
Hi Hyatt,
I always enjoy your paintings and reflections. I never cease to be amazed as your gift of expression both verbally and artistically. You are one of a kind a gift to all of us. Remember age is a matter of the mind: if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. While you are older than you’ve ever been before, you’re younger than you’ll ever be again. You are just coming into your own! I hit 75 in July and am enjoying life more than ever—perhaps playing “encores.” Who knows? God bless and use you for many years.
Harold Sala
P.S. We enjoy your “Last Supper” in our conference room.
7:03 pm
Thanks. Very encouraging.
8:30 pm
That makes a lot of sense. Thanks
7:14 am
Thank you Hyatt for your words of wisdom. You have done amazing things in your 69 years, and more than most. You make each day count.